On marriage equality

So the problem with our socioeconomic system is that it’s a pyramid. In order for someone to be at the top, many more have to be at the bottom, right? So when you argue that it is fucked up that YOU don’t get to be on top (because of racism, classism, ableism, misogyny, homophobia, or any other oppressive force) and you fight to be allowed the privilege of being on top, you are fighting to be the foot on someone else’s throat instead of being the one underfoot.

So can I holla atchu real fast about marriage “equality”? Marriage is one of those exclusive institutions that awards an array of attractive benefits to muh fuckas because they arbitrarily decide to suffer the company of one other person for a prescribed period of time AND choose to report it to the government. These benefits are not available to two platonic queers who have been co-parenting a child for 6+ years together, 3 partners who have been in a loving triad for 15 years, 2 close friends who decided to live to live together to financially and emotionally support each other as their golden years approach, the young woman who was raised by chosen family since the age of 15 when her parents kicked her out for being trans*, the children who have been left without a parent present since theirs’ were deported a few years ago, etc., etc., etc. (these are actual examples of people I know). They don’t get any special tax, insurance, inheritance, social security, employment, immigration, or parental rights/benefits/privileges to help them live with and care for their loved ones and marriage equality will never give it to them. They don’t even have the right to hold their loved ones hand(s) in a hospital room as they pass on from this life. They don’t even have the right to lay them to rest afterwards.

So I wonder if, when we fight for marriage equality, what are we fighting for? Who are we fighting for? Are we fighting for people to have sovereignty over how we love and take care of each other? Or are we just fighting for normalcy and the “right” to be two people with our kids and our dogs and our picket fences and our feet on the throats of whomever doesn’t end up looking enough like, living enough like, loving enough like us to be on top?

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